babydoll..a yearon xxx: ...and then the rain covered the sun

babydoll..a yearon xxx: ...and then the rain covered the sun: june 28th 2013 2.56 am newhouse ... then the sun came, but the rain washed over the rays that had come had turned day into night ...

...and then the rain covered the sun

june 28th 2013

2.56 am

newhouse

... then the sun came, but the rain washed over

the rays that had come had turned day into night

what was it that makes a sorry plight?

there are things the heart cant say,but still can feel

however you try to compress them,

it tries to take over,so cold,like steel

there is a song playing, but no one can hear....

except the one in deep sorrow where even the bravest kneel...

there is no cure for it, not even the strongest of pill...

for only time can heal...

cry, cry until theres no more...

until it overflows,until it drowns all your sorrows 

then tomorrow comes and the emptiness of floating in the shadows...

suddenly i am ashore...

love begets love

for nothing good ever gets lost 

babydoll..a yearon xxx: forever...x

babydoll..a yearon xxx: forever...x: dec 12 2012 23.22 dollhouse went out on a date yesterday... it was a cold winter starry night.. ofcourse where we were we can h...

forever...x

dec 12 2012

23.22

dollhouse


went out on a date yesterday...

it was a cold winter starry night..
ofcourse where we were
we can hardly see the stars in the sky...

all i see are the bright lights that were there
displayed all through the streets,
stretching like the water in the sea...



all i see is Him holding my hand
all through the night...

we are together and yet we re not...
but why does that matter?
when i know He is always here...

i can hear the towns life
all around me,
the blur of all the christmas activity

and yet...

it all passes me...
like nothing really matters just this Man beside me...

how can you find a love so perfect
where you can almost taste it in your mouth

feel it follow you everywhere you go

it is like the wind..
passing you everyday on your way to work..

the air you breath when you lay at night

carry all my thoughts across if i whisper carefully
my thoughts and feelings
and as i walk home i silently ask...

'do You hear me my Darling?are You home?have You eaten?
how was Your day?was it exciting,was there anything else happening?'

and somehow,i feel Him listen...
as if he was there when i whisper
i smile thinking of Him
when He tries to explain tome something..

somehow i know,He sometimes know what i am thinking!
He feels what i feel without me saying...

was it myimagination?
is it all a misunderstanding?

but why does it matter?
when He is here

i went home,
thinking of the evening..
i asked Him if He still loves me...

He asked me of my thoughts of this business
this one that i was thinking if it could really happen...

i was looking at Him and i wante to say..

You are perfect my Darling

as i lay last night,
i was reading the card He'd given me,
i was surprised it wasnt christmas yet,
and still He said its for christmas...

like always,i read it
words that mean so much

simple words
but make my heart a flutter...

but these words...
not just of love,


He had written....


the words...

Forever


XXXXX

babydoll..a yearon xxx: i love Him... x

babydoll..a yearon xxx: i love Him... x: dec 8th 2012 00:12 cant sleep even if i tried ... thinking of my walk home from my night out the other night... in the freezing co...

i love Him... x

dec 8th 2012

00:12

cant sleep even if i tried ...

thinking of my walk home from my night out the other night...

in the freezing cold of the winter night,
my thoughts were scrambling from what i have in mind xxx

les miserables

and it describes exactly how it felt for me...

when there are times i long to see,
the Man in my dreams...walking towards me...

but when i look hard through the rain in the night...
most times He wasnt really there...
and when He is,it seems too unreal for me to feel,

before the night is over...He is gone
even if i wished things to be different i know
He wont stay too long...

but here it is the thing called love...
i think of it,feel it,whisper it..
and yet...

and then i feel  lost...


but know that he will find me x

babydoll xxx

20.52 dollhouse


i went to peek at something i see,
everytime i came in
i didnt know that it was me...


a year on, i thought it was just a fantasy..
this Man who found me,

He has clear blue eyes like the sea
skin as white as snow
His lips as red as a childs bow...

will He want me?
i truly hoped so...

i was a birthday gift from the year that has passed,
a year on i find myself beside Him celebrating another year..
a year that i thought would have already lapsed...

there were tears,there was laughter..
i have my moments of ...disasters haha

of all the babies i met and had known in the past year,
i wonder where they are now?or were they luckier than most?
did anyone made their dreams come true?

was there anyone other than me who fell inlove,
was loved back in return?

through these months that passed so fast
i found a Sugar friend,we wonder how all of the others are...

did they find happiness in money?a house? a job? a car maybe?

we plan to meet them soon,to see how everyone is doing
but when i think about it, i know everyone will be curious
then we all have to tell...the tihng is i cant bloody lie!
and the last thing i want is to hurt some ones feelings..

you see,aside from me,since the last time,
all i saw from my sugar friends unfortunately ...
is misery :(

and when i am alone,i know i am also on my own,
i have times i get lonely, or i question my decisions...
but from everything i have done ,everyone i have known...
He was the only Man who took responsibility of looking after me...

but ofcourse,He cant be mine,i knew that from the start...
and still i love Him from the bottom of my heart

this agreement we have ,i never thought it will last..
but still things are planned things that will make things last

we went to look at properties,and we were shown something unexpected..
its a tudor mansion and inside it was the most sweetest studio house

dreams...
when i was a young girl,i thought that if i close my eyes really tightly
and wish for something,it will happen...
if i prayed really hard it will be given...

but now i know i have to make it happen..

when i feel sad and lonely,i think of the past...
and i cant imagine going through all those things...
and still be here..
and still life can be cruel but atleast i can cope better than i did before..

and now,
knowing i will never be perfect,imperfect life,imperfect situations..
bruised and broken hearted with a wandering soul

inspite of it all there is Someone patching me up,
putting all my pieces together...like a puzzle,
patiently sewing the threads of my life...



i try to hide the feelings inside...
but still He can see through me,feel me

at first i couldnt understand,why?
now i undrstand because He had become a part of me


thats why when i feel broken,
imperfect,
He holds me tight...
He is the one that makes me feel whole...

bittersweet situations that sometimes i felt ,
if only i could change the world and make everything right..
i would if i could with all my might xxx